I wrote this back in January of 2013 and posted it to my personal Facebook page. After re-reading it recently, I think it should be shared with a larger audience. I mean no disrespect to the original list-maker. I only hope to provide another viewpoint on the topic that some might find more relate-able.
After seeing this list (http://www.werdyab.com/2012/04/20-things-mother-should-tell-her-son.html) floating around Facebook - and not relating the way others seemed to - I created my own list and would love to share it here as an alternative. It might be easier to put everything into context if you read the list linked above first. Feel free to share on your own pages, profiles, blogs, twitter, etc. ;)
TWENTY THINGS I’M GOING TO TELL MY SON
1. Be creative. This isn’t so much about art as it is about life. Being creative is bringing your special brand of uniqueness to everything you do. Be creative in work, love, friendships, sports (if you choose to play them) and anything else you decide to put yourself into.
2. Find a woman who doesn’t believe affection should be used as a weapon. Find a woman who loves you as much as your mother does – if not more. Love, sex, marriage, etc. should be an equal partnership with neither person setting the tone for anything. Talk, communicate, and BE in love instead of just falling into it. One means you don’t have any control while the other is a very conscious *choice*.
3. Be considerate of other people and the work they perform for the benefit of you and others. Be conscious of the sacrifices of others and be grateful. The world is not kind to ingrates.
4. Don’t define yourself by money or things. Work hard and be kind. Love more and consume less. The rest will follow.
5. Learn to cook, clean, and take care of yourself. Dad and I will give you some tips (and make sure you know how to use all the tools) but you’ve got to take some initiative to learn these skills and put them to good use. Remember, *grown ups* can take care of themselves no matter if they’re male or female.
6. Being intelligent doesn’t mean you have to disregard spiritual ideas. Investigate and be open minded to other people’s faiths and opinions. No matter what religion you choose (if any at all) always remember to nurture your own spiritual development. Be the best you can be, unpack your emotional baggage, and love yourself. That’s the best gift you can give the world.
7. People who don’t like themselves pick on people that they feel are somehow weaker to make themselves feel better. The truth is that bullies are the weak ones. Never give into your own insecurities by attacking or verbally abusing someone else. You’re stronger than that. It’s okay to defend yourself, those you love, and those who need it, but never forget to be compassionate.
8. Regardless of being in school, always be a student of life. Learn on your own time, nurture your interests, and let your passions burn. There’s far too much to learn and experience to ever be truly bored in this world.
9. Women are not your personal property and you should never condone their objectification in the media and throughout our society. Stay away from porn, prostitution, strip clubs and other forms of sexual degradation. Be an advocate for the rights of all human beings.
10. Good hygiene is important. Look your best but never be defined by appearances.
11. Being a man does not mean you can’t be tender, loving, and nurturing. Don’t believe the macho hype.
12. Because marriage is a partnership this means you and your spouse should share all responsibilities. Learn to ask for help and do caring tasks for each other without being asked. Selflessness is the key to a happy marriage.
13. Be kind, loving, compassionate, and respectful whenever possible. It’s always possible.
14. If you’ve got an itch, scratch it without shame while doing your best to be discrete. You’re a human being not a robot.
15. Think for yourself and never be a follower just because you want to fit in. I didn’t give birth to a sheep.
16. Doing little things for your partner is a lovely way to let them know you’re always thinking about them. But, for goodness sake, please stay clear of women who believe jewelry and other expensive (and useless) trinkets are the best way to prove your love. Diamonds are not a girl’s best friend, but a status symbol that momentarily makes them feel important because they lack in self love. Make her feel important every day. Not just on Valentine’s Day, her birthday, or when you want something. Treasure her and your love and you won’t need fancy things. However, this doesn’t mean a nice engagement ring isn’t a good idea. It shouldn’t have to be a diamond but you should really put a lot of thought and heart into picking a ring out for her since it’s something she’ll never take off and it will remind her of you and your marriage every day.
17. Question everything and never go on blind faith in anything. Love people not countries.
18. Humor should be a subversive social tool that never pokes fun at those who are oppressed. Sexist and racist humor is not funny.
19. Please throw your entire soul into love. Give it (and her) all you’ve got and you’ll make me forever proud.
20. Remember that I love you unconditionally always.
~ Lisa Barbero | http://www.lisabarbero.com